Political jokes are either a big no or a huge yes in a group of friends. However, we’ve all laughed at least once with political puns and good satirical lines about voting, elections, liberal jokes, or other political aspects like capitalism, for instance. We bet that silly (to some) beliefs, puns on parties, and satirical dramedies on presidents will never get boring or old.
Even if you deem yourself firmly apolitical, these hilarious jokes just might crack you up, too. Undoubtedly, you have your own brilliant thoughts on the topic as well. We would love to read your thoughts in the comments and don’t forget to vote for your favorite jokes and share them with your friends.
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Congressman should wear uniforms like NASCAR drivers so we can identify their corporate sponsors.
A woman in a hot-air balloon is lost, so she shouts to a man below, "Excuse me. I promised a friend I would meet him, but I don't know where I am."
"You're at 31 degrees, 14.57 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude," he replies.
"You must be a Democrat."
"I am. How did you know?"
"Because everything you told me is technically correct, but the information is useless, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've been no help."
"You must be a Republican."
"Yes. How did you know?"
"You've risen to where you are due to a lot of hot air, you made a promise you couldn't keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."
The EU now has 1 GB of free space.
“Because it would be hilarious,” is probably not a good reason to elect someone to be president.
People who want to share their religious or political views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
The Origins of Political Jokes
Politics - from Greek: Πολιτικά, politiká, ‘affairs of the cities’ - is something that you resonate with, heartily hate, or are partially indifferent to. It’s also the biggest no-no topic at dinner parties, together with religion, sexual orientation, and anything about vaccines (also, maybe your dog’s flatulence patterns). Yet, despite being such a persona non grata topic during casual meets, it nonetheless is the number one fodder for jokes. Political satire spices up these puns. Satiric lines make someone (a politician in this case) or something (political events) look ridiculous to the audience and feel so absurd that they cause laughter and embarrassment.
You might find it true to believe, but the first political puns date back as history jokes in the Soviet Union under the brutal dictatorship of Stalin. The fate of Boris Orman, who worked at a bakery, provides a typical example. In mid-1937, Boris Orman shared an anecdote (political joke) with a coworker in the bakery cafeteria. It led to 10 years of prison because it was said out loud. However, cracking jokes in whisper mode around family tables were the ones that lighted up the spirits of citizens in those dark times.
In the 1980s, even the president of the US, Ronald Reagan, couldn’t resist the old Soviet political jokes. He liked them so much that he had a secret stash of political puns hidden in the Oval Office.
How did we know communism was doomed from the beginning?
All the red flags.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won’t cross the street to vote.
If con is the opposite of pro, then isn’t Congress the opposite of progress?
I believe this is a Samuel Clemens quote, I believe the original quote was "If progress means to move forward, then what does Congress mean?"
Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and George Washington are on a sinking ship.
As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!”
George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!”
Bill Clinton asks excitedly: “Do we have time?
We Love Political Jokes for 2 Reasons
Now, the question here is why we need funny political jokes. Well, we’re no political scientists, but from what our team has gathered, we, the humans of the Earth, tend to make jokes about any Big Thing that takes considerable space in our lives. We do so (willingly or not) just to make it feel more relatable. Based on this, our need to taunt politicians is a way to make them seem less pompous and closer to our reality.
The other reason for making political jokes might be to spill the bitterness accumulated for various reasons on someone we don’t know personally. Politician jokes are a funny way to show our disagreement with their decisions and speeches.
The worst part about working for the department of unemployment is when you get fired you still have to show up the next day.
The NSA: a government organization that actually listens to you!
I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.
The Olympics remind us that no matter what country we may be from, we all look dumb using an iPad as a camera.
A Scotsman who was driving home one night, ran into a car driven by an Englishman. The Scotsman got out of the car to apologize and offered the Englishman a drink from a bottle of whisky. The Englishman was glad to have a drink. "Go on," said the Scot, "have another drink." The Englishman drank gratefully. "But don't you want one, too?" he asked the Scotsman. "Perhaps," replied the Scotsman, "after the police have gone."
They should build the wall with Hillary's emails because nobody can get over them.
I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it’s Election night.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
Senator.
Whats the difference between a politician and a snail?
One is slimy, a pest, and leaves a trail everywhere and the other is a snail.
Kid: Dad, I want to be in politics when I grow up.
Dad: Are you insane? Have you completely lost your mind? Are you a moron?
Kid: Forget it. There seems to be too many requirements.
Actually those seem to be just the right requirements lately, especially for idiots who have never run anything else in their lives
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong remedies.
After numerous rounds of, "We don't know if Osama is still alive," Osama himself decided to send Ted Kennedy a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game. Kennedy opened the letter which appeared to contain a single line of coded message, 370HSSV-0773H. Kennedy was baffled, so he e-mailed it to John Kerry. Kerry and his aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. Noone could solve it at the FBI, so it went to the CIA, then to the NSA. With no clue as to its meaning, the FBI finally asked Marine Corps Intelligence for help. Within a few seconds the Marine Corps cabled back with this reply, "Tell Kennedy he's holding the message upside down."
Politics is the most accurate word in the English language.
Poly = many. Ticks = blood sucking parasites.
Except it's not an English word, but a Greek one (yeah, I'm fun at parties)
Why can't Trump go to White house anymore? It's FOR BIDEN.
Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
What's the difference between baseball and politics? In baseball you're out if you're caught stealing.
Why is England the wettest country?
Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there.
Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.
Note: this post originally had 84 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
So weak. Once again conservatives prove they just are not funny.
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A small plane carrying five passengers but only four parachutes starts running into trouble. The passengers are Anthony Fauci, the pope, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, and Greta Thunberg. Fauci grabs a parachute, says "I must be saved because I'm needed to help get the US through the pandemic", and jumps out. The pope grabs a parachute, says "I must survive because I'm needed to lead my millions of followers through the pandemic", and he straps on a parachute and jumps out. Trump says "I must be saved because I'm the smartest man in the world" and he straps himself in and jumps. Hillary turns to Greta and says "You'd better take the last parachute because you're young and have your whole life ahead of you". "Relax", says Greta. "There are still two parachutes left. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack and put it on."
I grew up in a communist country. I hear and read Americans say about communism. Do the schools actually teach what communism and socialism is/was? Social security, libraries, and public schools are examples of socialism. Unions and trying to over throw an election are examples of communism.
They teach it to those of us who are willing to learn- and if we’re not taught or we find what they say fishy we teach ourselves.
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So weak. Once again conservatives prove they just are not funny.
Load More Replies... A small plane carrying five passengers but only four parachutes starts running into trouble. The passengers are Anthony Fauci, the pope, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, and Greta Thunberg. Fauci grabs a parachute, says "I must be saved because I'm needed to help get the US through the pandemic", and jumps out. The pope grabs a parachute, says "I must survive because I'm needed to lead my millions of followers through the pandemic", and he straps on a parachute and jumps out. Trump says "I must be saved because I'm the smartest man in the world" and he straps himself in and jumps. Hillary turns to Greta and says "You'd better take the last parachute because you're young and have your whole life ahead of you". "Relax", says Greta. "There are still two parachutes left. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack and put it on."
I grew up in a communist country. I hear and read Americans say about communism. Do the schools actually teach what communism and socialism is/was? Social security, libraries, and public schools are examples of socialism. Unions and trying to over throw an election are examples of communism.
They teach it to those of us who are willing to learn- and if we’re not taught or we find what they say fishy we teach ourselves.
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